There’s love out there for everyone In the wise words of Kenny Rodgers, there is someone for everyone, and I mean everyone. It doesn’t matter if you are what is considered the norm in society or your preferences are unconventional. Online dating accommodates everyone with the many different unique sites available! There are, of course, […]
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Bodybuilders get a bad rep as far as love and romance goes. For some reason, people assume that you are all abs, biceps, quads, and no emotions. They forget that your most important muscle needs some work too – your heart.
Okay, maybe that’s a bit cheesy but be honest, behind that undeniably tough exterior is a big mushy teddy bear looking for love, right?
If picking up beefy guys or ripped babes at the gym has got you nowhere, you could always try online dating. These days, it is not hard to find a decent bodybuilding dating site where you can meet fellow fitness fans.
Here are six sites to meet fitness and bodybuilding enthusiasts:
Cupid is one of the most popular online dating sites on the planet. Why?
Because there IS someone for everyone!
It offers access to multiple niche chat rooms on one platform. That includes everything from cosplay chat rooms to those catering to specific professional interests.
What makes this an excellent bodybuilder dating site is that they also have niche rooms for people you might be interested in. These include chat rooms for:
- General fitness
- Martial arts
Dating.com is another popular general dating site that you might find useful as a bodybuilder looking for love.
Dating.com takes a different approach to matching you with fellow bodybuilding enthusiasts. Instead of offering access to public chat rooms, it allows you to run specific filtered searches. You will then get matched with singles based on your specific interests.
For example, if you like bodybuilding and fitness, you can use these parameters to narrow your search. That makes dating a bodybuilder with numerous common interests very easy for you. It’s also a lot more personal than open chat rooms.
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Flirt.com is a winner in the bodybuilding community mainly because of the access to the many chiseled and toned hotties. It might not be a niche site for your community, but from the profiles, it seems like some unwritten requirement to be a god or goddess. It also allows you to filter searches for specific matches based on specific interests, which further makes the journey to finding love easier for you.
Body Builder Singles
It is an exclusive niche site specifically designed to bring bodybuilding enthusiasts together. There are men and women of all shapes and sizes all very interested in fitness and finding love.
One of the main perks of using this platform is that joining is free. So you can sign up and check out what their site is like before you start your search.
Your safety is also a massive priority with the website, ensuring that every profile is verified. So you do not have to worry about getting catfished by some weirdo who stole their profile photos from an Instagram pro fitness account.
Body Builder Chat City, as the name suggests, is more of a chat room service than a conventional online dating platform. There is not much of the swiping and matching you get elsewhere. Instead, you get to join chats and build connections in a safe space before moving to more private conversations. For the latter, the site provides numerous options including webcam chats and private messaging.
Finally, you have the option of this niche site that caters not just to singles seeking to get into dating a bodybuilder but also fitness enthusiasts in general.
It is perfect if you are into living an active lifestyle and surrounding yourself with people who have the same views. It could be anyone from a mountain biking babe to a cross-fit stud who catches your eye. Either way, you will not have a hard time explaining why you think it is a great idea to go hiking for your first date.
With these six sites alone, you will have access to numerous eligible bodybuilder singles. All you have to do is to put yourself out there by signing up and trusting the process. Whether you go for a niche site or a general one with specific interest filters, it is going to be a fun experience. And who knows, you might meet your ripped prince or princess charming with just one swipe!
Here are 9 Christian dating apps you should try:
Elite SinglesElite Singles focuses more on finding someone with the same values as you do, and will suggest these individuals to you. It is an in depth app that takes your personality into account while searching for a partner for you. You may not have as many matches, but those you get will for sure be people you can hit it off with. Another good thing is, it is a free Christian dating app.
ZooskZoosk mostly serves the younger audience when it comes to Christian dating apps, all thanks to its popularity for providing amazing dating experiences. It uses a behavioral matchmaking system to get you a partner who matches your likes and interests. It is available for free download, and needs no subscription either.
eHarmonyeHarmony was founded by a Christian theologian, clinical psychologist and seminary professor, so you know that a lot of thought went into its setup. All you need to do is update your profile, and it will suggest matches in your inbox, and also help you kick start a conversation! You May Also Like: 6 Best Dating Apps for Introverts In 2019
Christian MingleChristian mingle has among the highest percentage of Christian singles, which makes it one of the best Christian dating apps. The profiles on it are well detailed, so that you are not blindsided. It is also absolutely free, so no need to worry about registration fees.
Christian ConnectionThis Christian dating site is built for middle-aged singles looking for love. With a 50+ age preference, it does unique personality tests, and takes you on daily match suggestions, by which you are sure to find, and be found, by someone. Its customer care team is always at hand, plus all its systems are secure.
Christian Café.This amazing app was started in 1999, and is purely Christian owned, all the better to cater to your needs. There have been numerous successful matches on it, even leading to marriage. Try it out today and give your testimony!
Christian CrushThere is the focus on Christian singles, but Christian Crush takes it a step further by offering something for everyone, including marriage retreats, Bible study for couples, and helping people beat their porn addictions too. That’s a pretty holistic and inclusive approach for an app!
Your Christian DateYour Christian Date was started in 1993, and offers a global reach, plus is known for how secure it is. Once you set up a profile, and include a few details about yourself, you can browse through and see other members that match your interests (even those who may have just joined). Once you find a match, it allows you to chat and even video call with your preferred partner through extremely secure systems. This most definitely makes it one of the best Christian dating apps there are.
FinallyWith all these Christian dating apps, and so many others out there, you are sure to find a partner that has all that you are looking for, plus shares the same values as you. Remember to practice internet security though, avoid sharing passwords or extremely personal information, and if you plan to meet, make sure it is in a public place. Have fun, and find yourself a love that is pure! This article first appeared on good-online-dating-sites.com
The struggles of dating as an introvert
For introverts and the more reserved in nature, dating can be real life torture. You have no idea where to start, what to say, what not to say and so on. Then there is the question of where you are actually going to meet these women that you are to make moves on. The fact that you restrict yourself to your comfort zones probably doesn’t help either, does it?
Well, don’t give up just yet; that’s why online dating exists.
6 apps that make it all easier
There are many online dating platforms out there designed to cater to the specific needs and challenges that you might face as an introvert. They make everything easier from meeting new people, knowing who likes you back and striking up a conversation that you can actually follow through on. Here are 6 of the best dating apps for introverts in 2019.
Yep. You read that right. QuizUp might just be what you have been looking for as far as finding love online is concerned. This online trivia platform is perfect because it helps you narrow down your search to people with similar interests.
Whether it is a certain movie franchise or a subject like history, this common ground will go a long way towards helping you get out of your shell. The best part is that the app has a fully functional chat platform to facilitate this interaction before you are ready to move offline. With all this in mind, this gaming app is actually one of the best dating apps for introverts without that even being its main purpose.
This dating app is perfect if you are an introverted guy who does not know the first thing about making a move on a woman. With Siren, women are empowered to take the lead. They decide who to match with and who to initiate a conversation with. So all you have to do is like her and hope she likes you back enough to make that move.
One of the biggest challenges when it comes to dating as an introvert is finding something to talk about. Platforms like Zoosk help get this pesky nuisance out of the way by finding you matches you have things in common with. When setting up your account, you will answer a few questions on your interests and preferences. The app then suggests matches based on this, allowing you to make moves on people who are probably going to be more receptive.
This app gives you one match per day for you to get to know. This is perfect for introverts as getting drowned with multiple matches can be a little overwhelming. With Once, you get to know one person at a time and therefore do not have to feel socially, mentally and emotionally drained after logging in. The best part is that all the matches are hand-picked just for you.
Anonymity is likely something that you value a lot as an introvert. Anomo is perfect in this case because it allows you to use avatar versions of yourself instead of photographs. This is perfect as there isn’t pressure to look a certain way or impress someone physically. It also facilitates online gaming between matches as a great icebreaker.
Amolatina is a niche app for meeting Latin American singles. These men and women are some of the most beautiful in the whole world, so it’s understandable that you might be intimidated. However, the platform set-up makes it easy for you to find matches, chat with them, and even send gifts like with any other relationships. This will do wonders for your self-esteem down the line.
As you can see, each and every one of these websites or apps has something to offer. Whether it is a niche site or one designed for the general public, there is no denying how much easier it makes things for you as an introvert. So download one or more and set up your account right now. This might just be the breakthrough you were waiting for to help you find the love of your life.
This article first appeared on good-online-dating-sites.com
Getting cute and goofy together
These days, you literally cannot scroll down two breaths on any social media site without coming across #couplegoals and its many variations. It could be anything from couples in matching outfits to lively photos documenting a couple’s vacations in exotic locations. If you have a goofier relationship, these might be a little too sappy for you.
Below are relationship goals funny and sillier couples will enjoy.
Innocent prank wars
You can get as silly and goofy as you feel you need to here. Send them a photoshopped picture of yourself in a Ferrari and tell him you used all your savings on it. Or put a bunch of fake snakes in her closet. These funny relationship goals allow you and your partner to tap into and express your mutual weirdness and will definitely make for some great laughs.
One thing that makes goofy relationship goals for all of us I how comfortable a couple has to be with each other to be that uninhibited. Role-play, in this case, allows you to be weird and dress up as funny characters for entertainment.
Maybe you are going to a cosplay convention together, or you just want to dress up as you run a marathon of your favorite movie franchise. Unlike bedroom role-play, this is low pressure and allows you to have a lot of silly fun together.
Bumming in sweats
Getting all dressed up for dates or hangouts is fun and all until you run out of outfit options or mental energy to doll up. When you get to a point where you can hang out with each other in baggy tees and sweat pants with your hair crazy, then you have reached a whole new level of bonding. This right here is the very definition of goals as every couple should strive to be this comfortable with each other.
Traveling together, for the most part, is overrated as a lot of couples online make it seem like a competition of who did it bigger and better. However, if all you want is to spend time together and explore new places, then this is something you should definitely not pass up on. Just make sure to enjoy the moment and not spend most of your vacation looking for the perfect selfie or photo opportunities.
Nonstop kisses and cuddles
These cute relationship goals just never grow old. I mean, who doesn’t want to spend all their time cuddling and kissing the person they love. The best part is when you get to do that while bonding not only physically but also emotionally. Whether it is on a swinging chair on your balcony, in bed or on your couch watching TV, this is definitely the stuff of relationship dreams.
A little friendly competition
If you are a couple that loves to get competitive, then this is an excellent way for you to bond. Come up with different competitions that will give you a chance to hang out, bond and try desperately to kick each other’s behinds. You can do it alone with things like board games and puzzles, or you can make it a team affair with the two of you in different teams.
Binge eating episodes
You know how on the first date you pretended you barely eat because you did not want your partner to see you hogging out? Well, you know you have made it as a couple when restrictions like these do not matter anymore. You can just hang out and eat whatever you want, however much of it you want and without having to worry about looking proper. Now, these are real relationship goals.
When poop and farts aren’t taboo
Now this one is on the soul mates who have nothing to hide the level of relationship goals. It takes a while especially for girls in relationships to feel comfortable enough not only to talk about poop or fart but to do it in your presence. It might seem trivial and all, but it is the epitome of vulnerability and openness in relationships.
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Movie or TV show fandom marathons
If you and your partner share a love for some movie or TV show franchise, then a marathon would be a great way to spend time together. You get to consume what you consider quality content while still bonding and simply enjoying each other’s company.
Enjoying the silence together
Sometimes, you do not have to do or say anything to be relationship goals. You just need to learn how to enjoy being together in silence. Hang out in bed reading before you sleep. Go for a walk and silently take in the beauty of nature around you. Or just sit in each other’s arms and appreciate that you are together again after a long day apart. It might seem simple, but it is a powerful way to build a robust enviable relationship.
This article first appeared on good-online-dating-sites.com
There’s love out there for everyoneIn the wise words of Kenny Rodgers, there is someone for everyone; and I mean everyone. It doesn’t matter if you are what is considered the norm in society or your preferences are unconventional. Online dating accommodates everyone with the many different unique sites available. There are, of course, the general sites and common niche sites for things like international romance, age gap dating, and the LGBTQ community. Then there are what would best be described as the weird dating sites. These cater to specific needs and fetishes you probably didn’t even know existed. Here are ten really interesting ones. Who knows, one of them might be what you were looking for. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Bizarre dating sites you might want to check out
Ugly Shmucks a funny dating websiteUgly Shmucks is a really funny dating website as far as the concept is concerned. It caters to people who consider themselves unattractive. What is funny is that a lot of them aren’t. However, the site does a great job of creating a safe space where everyone can feel comfortable. Visit the site: https://www.uglyschmucks.com/
Prescription4love.comThis website is something special. Finding love when you are terminally ill, or you have a lifelong condition can be pretty tricky. There is the fact that you may have special needs. Then people see you mainly through pity goggles. This site cuts through all this and gives these people a real chance at love with people who understand the struggle.
Meet an InmateWhen it comes to alternative dating sites, this one is not very bizarre. The fascination with incarcerated people is not exactly new to society. However, a website that facilitates this is. And with more than 2 million people in jail, fish are abundant in this sea. Visit the site: http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/
Diaper MatesDiaper Mates is without a doubt one of the weirdest dating websites. It caters to the needs of adult babies, diaper lovers, and people generally attracted to this lifestyle. As with most other sites on this list, it gives members a judgment-free zone to express themselves and their needs however unusual. Visit the site: http://diapermates.com/
Horsey LoverNumerous niche sites cater to animal lovers. Therefore this one is not that bizarre. However, it is a little unique as it caters not just to horse lovers but fans of the open country and that lifestyle in general. Visit site: https://www.horseylover.co.uk/
Vampire Dating SiteVampire Dating Site is a place for fans of Vampire role-play fetish. There are even some people in there who believe that they are real vampires. And who are we to say that they aren’t? Some members there are just fascinated by the mythology related to these creatures. Whatever the case, they have a site where they can find love without having to explain why they have rooms full of chalices, coffins and black drapery. Visit the site: https://www.vampiredatingsite.com
Farmer Wants a WifeThis site runs in the UK and Ireland and is all about what it says in its title. It is designed for farmers living in the English and Irish countryside to find long term partners. For the most part, the members are old men who are divorced, widowed or just never married. It is not that bizarre, but it is very interesting. Visit the site: https://www.farmerwantsawife.co.uk/s/
Singles With Food AllergiesDo you know that annoying thing that happens when you go out on a date and spend hours combing through the menu looking for something safe? You know; something that won’t send you into anaphylactic shock? Yep, allergies are not fun or convenient in relationships. If you do not have to explain yours, then this is a site you should check out. Visit the site: http://www.singleswithfoodallergies.com/
Gluten Free SinglesYep, this is a thing. It exists. People use gluten as a determinant of compatibility. No judgment. As with any other niche site, this one exists to spare the members the inconvenience of having to explain their ideas. Visit the site: https://glutenfreesingles.com/
Can Do BetterThis one might be last on the least, but it doesn’t take away from it being one of the weirdest dating sites out there. The members and their fetishes and preferences are not unusual. However, how you become a member is. Couples upload their photos and have other members rank them. Whoever receives a higher score is deemed the more superior one who can, well, do better. They then join the site and choose their new partner from the existing pool. Yeah. Let that sink in. Visit the site: http://www.candobetter.com This post originally appeared on good-online-dating-sites.com.
When random meets and blind dates fail
You have probably been trying to find love offline for a long time to turn to internet dating. And you might be tired of waiting for that magical bump-into-each-other-at-the-library type of random meet up. Or it could be that you are tired of all those strangers that your mum or your friends keep setting you up with.
Online dating might be your last option, but it is in no way a basic backup choice. We’re sure if you had known about all the online dating benefits, you would have given it a try over those conventional and often unsuccessful methods a long time ago!
Here are eight reasons why you should try online dating.
You get a lot of variety
There are millions of people on different online dating platforms today. All of them have something different to offer whether in terms of class, personality, ethnicity or any other form of diversity you can think of. The important thing here is to figure out exactly what you want. Otherwise, you will get overwhelmed by the options and end up stuck.
It gets you out of your comfort zone
If you are used to dating a certain type of guy or gal, then online dating is what will rip you out of that comfort zone. It also works great if you are notorious for not making first moves or approaching people that you are interested in. The sense of security offered by the entire process makes it a lot easier for you to try out new things. And you had better believe that you will not be disappointed.
You do not have to invest until you’re ready
One thing that sucks a bunch about offline dating is that you have to invest time and sometimes even money in ventures you are not sure will work out. With online romance, on the other hand, you get to escape this. You can take as much time as you need to secure the connection before you start considering moving it offline.
It is way faster to get someone than offline
Online dating allows you to take the reins and run your own love life. No more waiting for fate to produce prince charming out of thin air. No more relying on your loved ones to find that perfect girl for you. Here, you can connect to a whole bunch of people in a matter of seconds. It doesn’t get any more convenient than that.
It does wonders for your self-esteem
A lot of these online dating platforms are based on a matching algorithm. That means that you get connected to someone when you like them and they like you back. It is like getting confirmation that you crush likes you too. It is the greatest feeling ever, and no one will judge you for doing that fun little victory dance once you match with someone.
You can do it from anywhere
You can run a full online relationship for anywhere you want. It could be on planes and hotel rooms if you have a job that has you traveling all the time. It could be from your office cubicle if you are a workaholic. Or it could be from your couch if you don’t feel like getting out of those comfy sweats.
It will accommodate your nightmare schedule
A lot of online relationships fail because you do not invest enough time. It may not always be your fault especially if you have a very hectic schedule. With online dating, however, the sun never sets. So you can go on there and lay a few more bricks to the various foundations you are building without breaking your schedule.
It gets rid of the first-time awkwardness
First dates can be super awkward especially if you have never met before. Online dating gets rid of this by allowing you to get to know each other first. It has a way of creating familiarity where you end up feeling like you have known your match for ages. That way when you finally decide to meet you know what to talk about.
Don’t be shy; give it a try
There are a lot of benefits to online dating and the eight highlighted above are just a few of those that you are guaranteed. Everyone’s online journey is different so get started and see what yours holds for you. It might be a little scary at first, and you may have to sift through a few unenchanted frogs, but you will eventually find your person.
This post originally appeared on good-online-dating-sites.com.
You have the most intriguing bio on the website and tantalizing photos to go with it. Fortunately, you match with this amazing person, and you cannot wait to start talking. You straight up do a victory dance after getting notified then collect yourself to start the chat. But as soon as you open your mouth (or in this case your thumbs), you shove your foot right inside it. And just like that one shady pickup line blows all the hard work put into the profile into nothingness.
When it comes to online dating, a lot of factors determine how successful you will be. One of the most important of these is how you start the conversation. Here are a few tips that come in handy to ensure that your first impression does justice not only to your amazing profile but to your equally awesome personality.
Behavior that must be avoided:
It is ok to appreciate a person’s beauty when you are attracted to them. However, there is nothing sweet or romantic about objectification whether it is a man or a woman. It is rude and shows that you are unaware of how your words affect people. So no, don’t mention that cleavage or those sexy abs before you are both comfortable enough with each other.
Trying too hard to say all the right things
A lot of people are smarter than they are given credit for and therefore it is very easy for them to see right through your empty corny lines. Do not go out of your way to stand out by being overly sweet and saying all the right things especially if you do not mean them.
An aggressively forward approach
It is not ok to say things like “marry me” or “you are what I have been looking for” soon after matching online. It doesn’t matter whether or not that is what you feel. That will put off a lot of people as it makes you come across as disingenuous.
A boring entrance
No one likes that plain old boring “hey there” or even worse, “Hi.”
It is truly the most annoying set of pickup lines ever invented. It shows you are playing it safe which is not the most admirable of qualities online.
Cliché pick-up lines
The only thing worse than boring lines is overused ones. Remember that given how online dating works she or he has probably heard the same line more times than she would like to. Don’t be the next one on the way out for the same mistake.
How to be the Prince/Princess Charming in the story:
Objectification sucks but this does not mean that you should not give compliments. The trick is to be tasteful about it. Mention how breathtaking those eyes are. Or how they have the most beautiful hair you have ever seen. These are great conversation starters.
Honesty about your intentions
Everyone on online dating platforms has an agenda. Some people want to find long term relationships; others want casual hookups while others want plutonic friendships. There is nothing wrong with this diversity. What is important is that you are honest about it especially if you want something casual. It will save you all a lot of time and shows the person you are starting to talk to that you know exactly what you want. Just don’t go proposing on the first text.
Taking it slow
When crafting your first message or your pickup line, you need to dial back the enthusiasm. It is ok to be excited that he/she liked you back, but this is not a green-light to be a creep. Before you send that first text, take a breath and think things through. You won’t regret it.
Consistency in your effort
Another pickup line pro tip is consistency. That will help you more with the follow-up than the initial contact. Once you have the person’s attention, do not waste the opportunity by going on and off on them. You owe too much to that super pickup line that got you into just slack once it works.
Frank curiosity and interest
Showing interest in the person you matched with is another great idea for a pickup line. Find an interesting way to ask them a question. It could be anything from inquiring about the favorite of their many visible tattoos to asking about the memory captured in one of their profile photos. This simple but genuine curiosity will get you a long way.
From all this ‘do and don’t’ tips one thing is clear: honesty and respect are invaluable when it comes to online dating. Put yourself in your love interest’s shoes. What would you expect from them during the first interaction? Chances are you wouldn’t want to be objectified and bombarded with empty promises before you even get to say hi. So return the favor, take it slow, and you will see it work out eventually.
This post originally appeared on good-online-dating-sites.com.
Learning from past dating trends
Over the years, we have seen all sorts of dating trends from romantic telegrams in the mid-20thcentury to social media DMs in more recent times. The changes that we have seen throughout these eras are just proof of how dynamic expressions of love are.
It would be a complete injustice to all the successful romances of years past to ignore their ways and teachings. But where exactly do we draw the line between fun old school love trends that need rebooting and those that should stay in the past? Here is a list that should help make answering this questions easier.
7 activities that need to make a comeback
1. Writing letters and love notes
A letter is more powerful than any text, email or even FaceTime call you will ever make. These allow you to express yourself in the most uninhibited way truly. You do not feel the need to truncate your words to fit the text limit. You do not have to worry about stuttering or delaying as you figure out what to say.
So pick up a pen and some paper and let your significant other know how much they mean to you. It doesn’t even have to be a full on The Notebook-type of a letter. You could start small with little love notes and short poems.
2. Taking walks together
Remember when people used to love long walks on the beach or in parks and took the time to go on said walks? That time needs a reboot. Walking together is a great way to spend time together in a casual and low-pressure environment. You get to know each other and bond in ways that no other hangout setup will allow.
It is also an awesome activity for couples who are into fitness. Walking gives you a great way to burn calories together while leaving you with enough energy and breath to sustain a conversation.
3. Playing board games
It could be anything from Chess to Monopoly. These games are a great way to spend time together. You will get to learn more about your partner’s hidden traits including competitiveness, critical thinking abilities and so much more.
What makes this old school activity even more worthy of a second chance is the fact that it can easily be a group activity. Did someone say double dates?
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4. Simple hugs and hand-holding
Old school PDA is something else that definitely should make a comeback in this era of love. These days, many couples fall on extreme ends of the PDA spectrum where there is either no physical touch or too much. It is time we go back to simple hand holding and things like hugs and cheek kisses. They are a great way to show affection without being overly sexual.
5. Cooking together
In a day and age where takeout is dominating dinner tables, you can’t refute the importance of giving this old school dating trend another go. Preparing a meal together is a great way to get to know each other and bond.
Before you have a panic attack on your cooking skills or lack thereof, it is important to note that it doesn’t have to be a fancy meal. So no, no one is expecting you to cook a perfect steak and raise a flawless soufflé. You can make anything simple whether it is a salad, a sandwich or even a smoothie. The point is to do it together.
6. Fancy dinner dates
Another super sweet old school dating activity to try out is going out on fancy dates every once in a while. It could be for a birthday, anniversary, valentines or whatever special occasion. These dates are super fun and are a great way to get out of your take out and homemade dinner date comfort zone.
7. Phone calls
Texting, emails and other social media communication channels have dominated this era of love. However, no amount of text messaging or real-time photo sharing will ever match the power of a phone call. Getting to hear your partner’s voice makes a huge difference regarding the quality of your interaction. It is, therefore, something worth giving a try.
With all these awesome romantic activities there is no denying the fact that we have a lot to learn from old school relationships. The best part is that most of them will cost you nothing extra. However, the effects will be unlike anything that new school love has to offer. So write that letter, prepare that dinner and make that phone call. It just might be what your relationship needs to get to the next level.
This post originally appeared on good-online-dating-sites.com.
I always walk into a new relationship with the mentality that it is my last. I arrive and immediately unpack the baggage of past relationships, past hurts, and pains. I land with a bang, and within no time, I have all my struggles and insecurities hanging on the wardrobe. I come ready to stay I take a 70-year lease. The problem is, I never stay long. Every time I have walked into a relationship ready to set sail, I hardly ever leave the shore. So I sat down and analyzed what I do, and why I always end up out of the relationship before it begins.
It turns out I had expectations that were so high, that my partners would rather be single than try to meet them. I had no idea I had set the bar to be unrealistic. To solve this problem, I sat down to take a good look at what my overly high expectations were. Here is what I found:
Commitment expected early is seldom ever received
Relationships take time and nourishment, especially so if they are new. The initial stages of a relationship are the evaluations stage. “Is this the partner I want? Can I picture a long-term relationship with them?” etc. The challenge, however, is that people take different timelines to make decisions. Some people are sure from the first hug that they are home, while others take time. It turns out, there is no fixed range of time to commit, and expecting it too early is setting yourself for failure.
Within a month, you expect them to make you their priority. In the initial stages of a relationship, your partner still has their career, family goals and development goals as their priority. Which is perfectly fine. Time allows them to factor you in when they make decisions, and this could take time. Expecting to be number one on the list too fast can make your love interest run in the other direction.
My partner is the embodiment of perfection
When they say love is blind they probably forgot to add that, young love is what is blind. The first time you are infatuated with someone, they cannot do any wrong in your eyes. When we grow, life teaches us to keep from expecting perfection from our partners. The best attitude of approach would be, I love/like you, but I want to learn more about you. That allows you to like what you learn or not. However, they get to feel like they can be themselves around you without feeling like they have to live up to your expectations of them.
This relationship is going to solve all my problems
Expecting the relationship to solve all my issues is what hurts the most. It can take a long time to realize that your insecurities, your self-esteem issues are yours to handle. While your lover can make you feel good every so often, no relationship can solve all your problems in their entirety. Good relationships challenge us to be better; the hard work remains ours. Expecting a relationship to solve your problems is probably the highest expectation ever.
All free time must be relationship time
I recently read a blog post called “How to Maintain Your Independence In a Relationship.” The main premise of the post was that a relationship thrives the most when the individuals retain who they are in the relationship. If your partner loves a particular activity and you don’t, they have every right to keep at it. ,
Couples draw closer together when they divide their free time between actualizing themselves and bonding with their partners. Guess what? No, your partner doesn’t have to come to spin class with you. Let them nap. They probably will be in a better mood doing the latter rather than the former.
0.03s record text response time.
All of us have expected this of our partners at one point or the other. Within the minute it took them to reply, we conjured up images of them with someone else or them being in trouble. It has taken me a long time to realize that not everyone is as hooked to their phone as I am. Expecting to get an instant reply every time I send a message is being dramatic.
In conclusion, it is perfectly okay to have certain things you will not compromise on from the beginning of the relationship. The examples above are things that are not war-triggering. Walk into a new relationship with a spirit of adventure. Remember some adventures are not for everyone, but sometimes we get once in a lifetime experiences. Learn, listen, and grow.
This post originally appeared on good-online-dating-sites.com.