Online Dating Pickup Line Tips – What Works and What Doesn’t

First impressions

You have the most intriguing bio on the website and tantalizing photos to go with it. Fortunately, you match with this amazing person, and you cannot wait to start talking. You straight up do a victory dance after getting notified then collect yourself to start the chat. But as soon as you open your mouth (or in this case your thumbs), you shove your foot right inside it. And just like that one shady pickup line blows all the hard work put into the profile into nothingness.

When it comes to online dating, a lot of factors determine how successful you will be. One of the most important of these is how you start the conversation. Here are a few tips that come in handy to ensure that your first impression does justice not only to your amazing profile but to your equally awesome personality.

Behavior that must be avoided:

Objectifying complements

It is ok to appreciate a person’s beauty when you are attracted to them. However, there is nothing sweet or romantic about objectification whether it is a man or a woman. It is rude and shows that you are unaware of how your words affect people. So no, don’t mention that cleavage or those sexy abs before you are both comfortable enough with each other.

Trying too hard to say all the right things

A lot of people are smarter than they are given credit for and therefore it is very easy for them to see right through your empty corny lines. Do not go out of your way to stand out by being overly sweet and saying all the right things especially if you do not mean them.

An aggressively forward approach

It is not ok to say things like “marry me” or “you are what I have been looking for” soon after matching online. It doesn’t matter whether or not that is what you feel. That will put off a lot of people as it makes you come across as disingenuous.

A boring entrance

No one likes that plain old boring “hey there” or even worse, “Hi.”

It is truly the most annoying set of pickup lines ever invented. It shows you are playing it safe which is not the most admirable of qualities online.

Cliché pick-up lines

The only thing worse than boring lines is overused ones. Remember that given how online dating works she or he has probably heard the same line more times than she would like to. Don’t be the next one on the way out for the same mistake.

How to be the Prince/Princess Charming in the story:

Genuine compliments

Objectification sucks but this does not mean that you should not give compliments. The trick is to be tasteful about it. Mention how breathtaking those eyes are. Or how they have the most beautiful hair you have ever seen. These are great conversation starters.

Honesty about your intentions

Everyone on online dating platforms has an agenda. Some people want to find long term relationships; others want casual hookups while others want plutonic friendships. There is nothing wrong with this diversity. What is important is that you are honest about it especially if you want something casual. It will save you all a lot of time and shows the person you are starting to talk to that you know exactly what you want. Just don’t go proposing on the first text.

Taking it slow

When crafting your first message or your pickup line, you need to dial back the enthusiasm. It is ok to be excited that he/she liked you back, but this is not a green-light to be a creep. Before you send that first text, take a breath and think things through. You won’t regret it.

Consistency in your effort

Another pickup line pro tip is consistency. That will help you more with the follow-up than the initial contact. Once you have the person’s attention, do not waste the opportunity by going on and off on them. You owe too much to that super pickup line that got you into just slack once it works.

Frank curiosity and interest

Showing interest in the person you matched with is another great idea for a pickup line. Find an interesting way to ask them a question. It could be anything from inquiring about the favorite of their many visible tattoos to asking about the memory captured in one of their profile photos. This simple but genuine curiosity will get you a long way.


From all this ‘do and don’t’ tips one thing is clear: honesty and respect are invaluable when it comes to online dating. Put yourself in your love interest’s shoes. What would you expect from them during the first interaction? Chances are you wouldn’t want to be objectified and bombarded with empty promises before you even get to say hi. So return the favor, take it slow, and you will see it work out eventually.

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Get Closer to Your Partner with These 7 Old School Activities

Learning from past dating trends

Over the years, we have seen all sorts of dating trends from romantic telegrams in the mid-20thcentury to social media DMs in more recent times. The changes that we have seen throughout these eras are just proof of how dynamic expressions of love are.

It would be a complete injustice to all the successful romances of years past to ignore their ways and teachings. But where exactly do we draw the line between fun old school love trends that need rebooting and those that should stay in the past? Here is a list that should help make answering this questions easier.

7 activities that need to make a comeback

1. Writing letters and love notes

A letter is more powerful than any text, email or even FaceTime call you will ever make. These allow you to express yourself in the most uninhibited way truly. You do not feel the need to truncate your words to fit the text limit. You do not have to worry about stuttering or delaying as you figure out what to say.

So pick up a pen and some paper and let your significant other know how much they mean to you. It doesn’t even have to be a full on The Notebook-type of a letter. You could start small with little love notes and short poems.

2. Taking walks together

Remember when people used to love long walks on the beach or in parks and took the time to go on said walks? That time needs a reboot. Walking together is a great way to spend time together in a casual and low-pressure environment. You get to know each other and bond in ways that no other hangout setup will allow.

It is also an awesome activity for couples who are into fitness. Walking gives you a great way to burn calories together while leaving you with enough energy and breath to sustain a conversation.

3. Playing board games

It could be anything from Chess to Monopoly. These games are a great way to spend time together. You will get to learn more about your partner’s hidden traits including competitiveness, critical thinking abilities and so much more.

What makes this old school activity even more worthy of a second chance is the fact that it can easily be a group activity. Did someone say double dates?

You may also like: 10 fun fall dating ideas you should try

4. Simple hugs and hand-holding

Old school PDA is something else that definitely should make a comeback in this era of love. These days, many couples fall on extreme ends of the PDA spectrum where there is either no physical touch or too much. It is time we go back to simple hand holding and things like hugs and cheek kisses. They are a great way to show affection without being overly sexual.

5. Cooking together

In a day and age where takeout is dominating dinner tables, you can’t refute the importance of giving this old school dating trend another go. Preparing a meal together is a great way to get to know each other and bond.

Before you have a panic attack on your cooking skills or lack thereof, it is important to note that it doesn’t have to be a fancy meal. So no, no one is expecting you to cook a perfect steak and raise a flawless soufflé. You can make anything simple whether it is a salad, a sandwich or even a smoothie. The point is to do it together.

6. Fancy dinner dates

Another super sweet old school dating activity to try out is going out on fancy dates every once in a while. It could be for a birthday, anniversary, valentines or whatever special occasion. These dates are super fun and are a great way to get out of your take out and homemade dinner date comfort zone.

7. Phone calls

Texting, emails and other social media communication channels have dominated this era of love. However, no amount of text messaging or real-time photo sharing will ever match the power of a phone call. Getting to hear your partner’s voice makes a huge difference regarding the quality of your interaction. It is, therefore, something worth giving a try.

Bottom line

With all these awesome romantic activities there is no denying the fact that we have a lot to learn from old school relationships. The best part is that most of them will cost you nothing extra. However, the effects will be unlike anything that new school love has to offer. So write that letter, prepare that dinner and make that phone call. It just might be what your relationship needs to get to the next level.

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Are Your Relationship Expectations Too High?

I always walk into a new relationship with the mentality that it is my last. I arrive and immediately unpack the baggage of past relationships, past hurts, and pains. I land with a bang, and within no time, I have all my struggles and insecurities hanging on the wardrobe. I come ready to stay I take a 70-year lease. The problem is, I never stay long. Every time I have walked into a relationship ready to set sail, I hardly ever leave the shore. So I sat down and analyzed what I do, and why I always end up out of the relationship before it begins.

It turns out I had expectations that were so high, that my partners would rather be single than try to meet them. I had no idea I had set the bar to be unrealistic. To solve this problem, I sat down to take a good look at what my overly high expectations were. Here is what I found:

Commitment expected early is seldom ever received

Relationships take time and nourishment, especially so if they are new. The initial stages of a relationship are the evaluations stage. “Is this the partner I want? Can I picture a long-term relationship with them?” etc. The challenge, however, is that people take different timelines to make decisions. Some people are sure from the first hug that they are home, while others take time. It turns out, there is no fixed range of time to commit, and expecting it too early is setting yourself for failure.

Priority overhaul

Within a month, you expect them to make you their priority. In the initial stages of a relationship, your partner still has their career, family goals and development goals as their priority. Which is perfectly fine. Time allows them to factor you in when they make decisions, and this could take time. Expecting to be number one on the list too fast can make your love interest run in the other direction.

My partner is the embodiment of perfection

When they say love is blind they probably forgot to add that, young love is what is blind. The first time you are infatuated with someone, they cannot do any wrong in your eyes.  When we grow, life teaches us to keep from expecting perfection from our partners. The best attitude of approach would be, I love/like you, but I want to learn more about you. That allows you to like what you learn or not. However, they get to feel like they can be themselves around you without feeling like they have to live up to your expectations of them.

This relationship is going to solve all my problems

Expecting the relationship to solve all my issues is what hurts the most. It can take a long time to realize that your insecurities, your self-esteem issues are yours to handle. While your lover can make you feel good every so often, no relationship can solve all your problems in their entirety. Good relationships challenge us to be better; the hard work remains ours. Expecting a relationship to solve your problems is probably the highest expectation ever.

All free time must be relationship time

I recently read a blog post called “How to Maintain Your Independence In a Relationship.” The main premise of the post was that a relationship thrives the most when the individuals retain who they are in the relationship. If your partner loves a particular activity and you don’t, they have every right to keep at it. ,

Couples draw closer together when they divide their free time between actualizing themselves and bonding with their partners. Guess what? No, your partner doesn’t have to come to spin class with you. Let them nap. They probably will be in a better mood doing the latter rather than the former.

0.03s record text response time.

All of us have expected this of our partners at one point or the other. Within the minute it took them to reply, we conjured up images of them with someone else or them being in trouble.  It has taken me a long time to realize that not everyone is as hooked to their phone as I am. Expecting to get an instant reply every time I send a message is being dramatic.

In conclusion, it is perfectly okay to have certain things you will not compromise on from the beginning of the relationship. The examples above are things that are not war-triggering. Walk into a new relationship with a spirit of adventure. Remember some adventures are not for everyone, but sometimes we get once in a lifetime experiences. Learn, listen, and grow.

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8 Things You Should Never Compromise On In Your Relationship

The value of standing your ground

Everywhere you turn these days there is a mainstream media article, or blog post, or even a YouTube video on how to make your relationship stronger. You’re reading such a post right now. One thing most of them have in common is the insistence on the importance of compromise and sacrifice.

They are not entirely wrong about this as to make it work you might have to give up on a few things to make your partner comfortable. However, this does not mean that you indiscriminately give up all that makes you happy and makes you the individual you are for someone else. So where do you draw the line? Here are eight instances.

Eight times you need to stand your ground

Your healthy friendships

Healthy friendships are one of the biggest bones of contention in relationships. Your partner for some reason or other may not like your friends. For the most part, this could be a legitimate concern especially if your friends are not genuine or are not a good influence. However, if your partner is constantly critical about a perfectly healthy and supportive friendship, then that is a warning sign that you should heed.

Your family

Whoever said blood is thicker than water knew what they were talking about. Your family is probably the only group that can promise and then deliver on forever. So if your relationship threatens those powerful bonds, then there is a lot to worry about.

Your future and dreams

You should never give up on your dreams or career aspirations for anyone. Not even your prince/princess charming soulmate. There are, of course, a few exceptions where you may decide to put your aspirations on hold for stability. Taking a break is fine. However, if your discussions about this do not include specific timelines on when you get to go back to chasing your dreams, then you need to be ready to fight for what’s yours.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Common Communication Pitfalls That Could End Your Relationship

Your faith; or lack thereof

Faith is one of those things that could either make or break your relationship. It also happens to be one of the few traits or values where both partners should be on the same page if things are to work out. If you and your partner disagree on these beliefs, then there will be trouble down the line. If you feel pressured to compromise your stance, then the chances are that you will end up feeling resentful which is always toxic. So find out early enough where your partner stands then take your position and stick to it.

Your feelings about exclusivity

Exclusivity is another one you both need to agree on. Maybe your partner wants to be in an open relationship, and you are not fond of the idea. Or maybe itis the other way around. If either of you has to compromise, then the chances are that someone or you both will end up getting hurt. So if you find yourselves not coming to an agreement, you might want to consider ending things before it is too late.

Your self-worth and self-love

Having healthy self-esteem is something of great value in an age where societal ideals of beauty and perfection constantly bombard us. It is, therefore, a treasure that you should guard at all costs. If any relationship threatens this security and sense of self-worth that you have built for yourself, then it is not worth it.

Your alone time

Being a couple does not mean that you lose your right to develop as an individual. That is where the value of time alone comes in. It doesn’t mean that you are pushing your partner away or avoiding spending time with them. It just means that you want to work on yourself as a separate entity so you can give your partner the best of love.

Your deal breakers and non-negotiable traits

If you have something on your major no-no list, then you should never compromise on it. It could be a pet peeve, a major deal breaker or even a non-negotiable trait that your ideal partner must have. If you are about to get into a relationship, you should never compromise on these. It doesn’t matter how good the rest of their personality is. When the warm fuzzy feelings wear out your will be left dealing with all those things you truly cannot stand.

Bottom line

It is important to remember that you are still an individual with needs and interests much as you are in a relationship. It is also crucial to understand that it is not healthy to make other people happy at your own expense. These eight things should, therefore, be guarded at all costs, even if it means losing the relationship. It sure beats losing yourself.

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8 Awesome First Message Ideas For Online Dating

So it’s a match!

Finding a match on online dating sites can be the most flattering and exciting experience. It means someone out there is as interested in you as you are in them. However, getting that glorious popup of your faces together does not mean that the fight is over. The journey has just begun.

How you choose to initiate conversation with the person you are interested in makes all the difference. All the work you put into setting up a killer profile and intriguing bio description could be undone with a simple hello. So you need to be careful with your choice of starter messages. To help you out, here are eight awesome ideas to try out and three horrible ones to avoid at all costs.

Eight ways to get started

A knock-knock joke

A knock-knock joke is a nice and simple way to get a person’s attention and initiate some back and forth banter. What is awesome about these jokes is the fact that they involve the other person’s participation. Once you break the ice with this, there will be enough of a sense of familiarity to carry out a good conversation. Just make sure that the joke is funny.

Ask a serious question

Instead of going the well-traveled comic route, you could surprise your match with a serious question. Ask about their views on something like global warming, fur or even pineapples on pizza. Yes, that last one counts as a serious question too. However, first make sure form the person’s profile that they are up for such depth so soon.

An iconic movie or TV show quote

Quotes are a great way to start a conversation if you get clues from their bio that they are interested in a specific movie or TV show. If they like it as much as they claim to this approach will get you further than all those boring people on their profiles leading with ‘Hey there.’

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: 9 Secrets to Long-Term Love Revealed by the Experts.

A cheesy pickup line

Pick up lines are always a gamble when it comes to striking up a conversation in online dating. However, if used correctly they could be the fuel you need to propel your interactions from a simple match stage to acquaintances. The important thing here is to ensure that you do not go with the boring old washed up lines that they are probably getting from 4 other matches at the same time. Think outside the box (I mean look it up on the internet) and find something that will catch the person’s attention.

A question based on something from their profile

This trick is another one that allows you to create an air of familiarity for an easier flow of conversation. Take your time to go through the profile and find things you could ask about. It could be anything from the story behind that subtle tattoo to the meaning of that cryptic quote on their bio.

A tasteful compliment

A compliment will get you a long way with online dating. However do not focus so much on what you like about them physically that you end up coming across creepy. You should also be very careful not to cross the very fine line between being sweet and being rude.

Take the cute and cocky route with a witty statement

It could be something like “Guess whose lucky day it is? Yours. You’re welcome”. This confident approach usually works but could also fail massively. So it is always a gamble you need to be sure you are ready to make.

Comment on something you noticed you have in common

Maybe you can tell from his/her bio that you both like the outdoors or reading or even dogs. Leading with what you have in common with each other gives you a great place to start a meaningful conversation.

Three lines to avoid at all costs

In addition to the eight awesome lines, you should try, there are three that need to be avoided no matter what. The reason is that they are boring, overused and quite frankly annoying to reply to. Here are the three most forgettable opening messages that will leave you without a reply.

  1. Hey there
  2. How are you/ how’s it going/ how’s your day?
  3. Cliché pickup lines like “did it hurt when you fell from heaven angel?”


With all this information, you should have a pretty fair shot at the girl of your dreams or that unicorn of a man who chose you back. Just remember to avoid cliché, learn the art of moderation and be calm.

This post originally appeared on

10 Signs Your Partner Is Cheating

Cheating is probably one of the most devastating blows that any relationship can receive. Whether or not you saw it coming, there is no downplaying the feelings of hurt and betrayal that you are bound to experience. Figuring it out by yourself and early has been shown to lessen the blow for many. That way you are no blindsided, and you have time to get your ducks in a row to leave or stay.

So how do you find this out when most of them have mastered the art of deception and would rather go through a full torture session than admit the truth? The answer is simple; you need to be vigilant. More often than not, many subtle clues are pointing to infidelity all around you. You have to open your eyes to the truth. Here are a few of these signs.

Inexplicable tardiness or absences

When you suspect infidelity, tardiness an inexplicable absences are a red flag. Suddenly they are staying late at work and traveling more, and you know for a fact that this isn’t the norm for them. There is, of course, the chance that they are staying late for work, but it is always a good idea to look into it if you don’t buy the excuses.

Extreme phubbing

Phubbing is what the cool kids on the block are now naming phone addiction. If your partner suddenly cannot put their phone down, then there is a lot to worry about. They are usually either communicating with new flames or looking for them online.

Weird phone call habits

Is he suddenly receiving calls at weird times of the night? Is she unwilling to pick certain phone calls when you are in the room with her? Whatever it is you notice there is likely cause for alarm. People who are cheating get very dodgy with their phone habits.

Sudden disinterest in the relationship

If your partner seems disconnected from you, then you might have a cheater on your hands. If there is no more communication in your couple then you may be in trouble. The disconnect is most obvious if they seem happy and excited about everything else other than your relationship. If you aren’t making him/her happy, you better believe there is someone else out there doing your job for you.

Unwillingness to introduce you to friends and family

Unwillingness to involve one’s family is usually a sign that you are the side-piece. The family has met the main girlfriend or boyfriend, and your partner knows that introducing you will only raise questions. So if you have been dating for a long time and he/she hasn’t exposed you to this side, then you might want to start packing.

Clues from their friends

Your significant other’s friends sometimes know more about them than you do. So if they started acting all weird and detached it could be that they are preparing themselves for the storm they know is coming. Some might even be kind enough to warn you about their pal’s misadventures, so you had better listen.

They keep lying about one thing or another

If you have caught your partner in one too many lies, you need to beware of chances that they are cheating. A person who is that comfortable spewing out lies is usually more likely to step out.

Secret accounts

It could be a secret bank account, online dating profile or social media handle. Whatever it is, the fact that they are actively hiding it from you should raise questions. With the last 2, in particular, you have things like emotional infidelity and micro-cheating to worry about.

A significant history of infidelity

Everyone has a past and deserves a second chance. However, a leopard rarely changes its spots. If your partner callously cheated on past lovers, you might be the next one on his/her hit list.

Your intuition tells you something isn’t right

Sometimes your gut tells you something is wrong even without evidence. These are usually super subtle clues that your subconscious has picked up. So if you get a feeling that your partner is cheating do not ignore it.

Time to hit the road Jack/Jill

After all, is said and done, what you choose to do with the information you discover is entirely up to you. Maybe you want to stay. Maybe you want to leave. Or maybe you want to slash his tires or throw all her clothes out. Whatever your reaction is, the important thing is that you have the information to back up your suspicions.

This post originally appeared on

10 Fun Fall Dating Ideas You Should Try

It’s that glorious time of the year

Every season has something magical to offer your relationship as far as unique dating ideas are concerned. Fall, in particular, is perfect if you and your partner are lovers of the outdoors. There is just something about the beautiful blend of warm and chilly that makes leaving home an irresistible idea. However, it can be a little frustrating if you have no idea what to do with your time together. To help you out, here are ten awesome fall dating ideas you should try out.

Ten dates perfect for the season

Apple picking

Apples and fall go hand in hand with this being the season where the harvest is most bountiful. Apple picking is a simple yet incredibly romantic date idea that will have you outdoors surrounded by the beautiful aroma of fresh, crisp apples. You could also try out different apple-based recipes to complete the date on a tasty high note.

Hometown fall festivals

If you love festivals, then you will enjoy this date idea. For long distance relationships, in particular, it gives the perfect opportunity for hometown visits. You or your partner will get a feel of how the other grew up and the small (or big) town that molded your personalities. So whether it is a hay ride, a pumpkin patch or a fall carnival you are bound to have lots of fun.

Take a hike

The weather during fall is perfect for adventurous activities like hiking. It is warm enough for you to not worry about hypothermia while being cool enough that you don’t end up melting as you explore different areas. Plan a hike with your beau whether it is in a local reserve or a famous trail somewhere new. It is a great way to bond and have fun together.

Go camping

If you do not want to leave the wild then make it your home for a night or 2. Camping is another great way to enjoy all that this season has to offer. You could stay up watching the stars, telling stories by the fire and simply enjoying each other’s company. It doesn’t get any better than that.

Visit a new city or town

The wilderness is a great fall dating site but if it isn’t your style you could always opt for a more modern setting for your couple adventures. Pick a new city or town to visit and get to exploring. It is a lot like camping and hiking only with tapped water, retail therapy, and paved paths.

Hit the local farmer’s market

There is something about fall that makes the farmer’s market so dreamy. It is probably because most of the best fruits and veggies are in season during this time of year. Therefore, you and your partner could choose to treat your senses to a plethora of colors, scents, and flavors with this date idea. To make it even more interesting, you should include a cooking session after to try out all you got from the market.

Pumpkin carving

Getting creative with pumpkin carving is a great idea to try out when it is around Halloween. You will both have a blast whether you are naturally talented artists or you completely massacre your pumpkins.

Go on a liquor tasting adventure

Pick your poison whether it is wine, craft brews, ciders or even designer whiskey. After picking something you both can enjoy, find out the best locations to go tasting. Then pack a bag and set off on your adventure. It is bound to be a lot of fun.

Watch a football game

There are a lot of football games during this season in both the professional and amateur leagues. If you and your significant other are huge fans of the beautiful sport, then this is a great idea you should try out.

Test your guts in a haunted house tour

Finally, in the spirit of Halloween, this list would not be complete without a scary date. Visit a haunted house or a scary room facility and test your metal. It will be scary but getting to hold on to one another as you try not to scream your lungs out makes up for it.


There are too many awesome options for you to not enjoy fall as a couple. It doesn’t matter whether you are in a long distance relationship or you live under the same roof. Most if not all of these ideas give you both a chance to explore someplace new while the weather is still nice enough for it. So take advantage of it before winter comes, and you are stuck indoors.

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